Tips for Saying Goodbye

Do you remember when you were a little kid and whenever your friend would have to leave after a sleepover - you would cry and yell "I don't want them to leave!!!!"

Of course you do. If you don't and you've never had to say goodbye, then don't even bother reading this. Just....go back to your little cabin made of candy and dance around with birdies and rodents.

We've all had to say goodbye to someone...whether that's death, moving, or just not seeing a friend for a couple weeks. And. It. Sucks.

Because I'm 18, most of my friends have left for college/uni. Because I have a lot of older friends they have moved away to get better jobs. Because I live in a small town, nobody likes to stay here permanently.  I'm not whining, I'm just stating. And I know some people who because of their life situation they have to say goodbye MUCH more than me.

Such is life. Goodbyes happen. And sometimes you want to yell and cry "I don't them to leave!!!" and I think that's normal. It hurts, but it's normal.

After saying goodbye to a lot of people, I have some tips.

#1: Spend some extra time with them.
I used to have a "detachment process" when I was 12. (Yes, I did call it that. I was a weird kid.) That meant that I would slowly stop talking to the person who was leaving so that I would be used to their non-prescence by the time they had to leave. I found out that this is not a good idea. It hurts the other person and hurts you because you need some time with them to prepare for that time when you need to say goodbye.

#2: Be honest with them.
Tell them that you are going to miss them. Tell them how important they are in your life and what they have given you. I remember one time I had to say goodbye to a friend of mine and the week before he left, he asked me if I was okay. I said no. He looked shocked and asked me what the matter was. I looked at him and said "You are leaving!" That was one of the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say but we were honest and didn't bottle up how we felt about the situation.

#3: Cry.
I don't like crying. I always feel like a wimp. But I know that I need to cry to get the feelings out. However, my personal advice is don't cry in public. It's messy and doesn't help anyone. Find a private place where you can just let it out. Cry until you feel like you can get up again. And only then.

#4: Pray. (important)
Curl up in God's arms and tell him what you're thinking. Tell Him how angry you are and how you wish things could be different. You can yell, scream, and cry. He's not going to get mad at you. Ask Him to love on your friend because this is most likely even harder for them. God says that He won't leave you and that's a promise that you can hold onto.

What would you add to this list?
When was the hardest time you had to tell someone goodbye?