If and When

How often have you heard a girl talk about WHEN she marries a guy? In our culture, we've made women feel like they're "trapped in a tower" or "incomplete" without a husband/boyfriend. Like he's the hero and we can not do anything until he sweeps us off our feet.
 
And so we wait....and wait...and wait.

True love waits right? And God must have a wonderful husband in mind for me. We will even pray for "our future beloved" and pray that God makes him a good person and that he stays innocent. I did that for years - until I wondered something. What if there is no future beloved for me? What if I'm praying for this random person that may not exist? What if God doesn't even know who I'm going to marry (IF I even do)?

This is not to say that marriage is bad and it should not be admired. Far from it! A healthy marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing which should be given more respect. Love between a man and a woman is one of God's most beautiful creations! The apostle Paul encouraged marriage, but he also said this:

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.(1 Corinthians 7:25-28)
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.(1 Corinthians 7: 32-35 emphasis added)

 What I am getting at is this: IF I get married - cool.
                                          IF I don't - cool. 

 What I want to avoid is this phrase: WHEN I get married...

I don't want to say that because I may or may not get married and I don't want to plan for a husband when I don't know what God's plan is. I know that I want to commit my whole life to God...does that mean that I should keep from marrying to serve Him better? Maybe or maybe not. That's why I say IF I get married and not WHEN I get married.


IF I get married, that would be great. Sharing a life with another human being is a beautiful challenge. Am I up to it? Not right now. And maybe I never will be. I congratulate those who are up to it and have been in that relationship for many years. My "job" as a single woman is not to find my prince charming, but to respect and uphold the beauty of marriage and to love my brothers and sisters in Christ.